For these previous couple of days, my post had been all about complain, rage and dissatisfaction. Before anyone psychoanalysis me and decided that I needed to be referred to a shrink for anger management, I will at my very best, try to cast away the negativity and emit as much positive energy, despite my rage towards the GM (curse be with him) who wants everything, and I mean everything, like from brick-to-brick-up-until-the-roof-everything, to be done in ½ an hour just because the Shareholders are coming and he didn’t get the memo, he’s fault- he’s fault- he’s fault! Okay, enough!
Hence…
I believe in the thing called love (The Darkness), I do! I believe it to be the greatest source of positive energy. Honest truth! Before you go, ‘Ewww…’ OR ‘wha…?’ OR ‘e-eleh, jiwang siot..’ OR even, ‘Aww…’ on me, I would like to say that, doesn’t matter how ‘brutal’ you might think you are, you believe it too! You do! Kan-kan-kan? Okay, you may be ‘konon-brutal’, but don’t tell me you don’t enjoy the soothing sound of music generally, if not love songs specifically. Music may translate into various tempos, rhythm and sound, as love may translate into various forms. Love is as diversified as music. You may enjoy ‘Without You’ or ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’, more than the other, or you may enjoy them the same. Different music translating love differently.
I recently bought a DVD entitled ‘Jimmy and Judy’. Not knowing of its existence, curious of its presence, and hopeful of its performance, I bought it, watched it, loved it.
It’s a love story unlike any other. While most love story is a representation of ‘Without You’, though this is not quite ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’, but more of a ‘Heart Shaped Box’ kind. Yes, the feel is very ‘Grunge’. Angst, troubled, twisted, spontaneous, hippies, drugs, death and tragedy. Nirvana-like.
The story is quite simple.
Jimmy: Obviously troubled, possibly psychotic, loved to film.
Judy: Obviously depressed, possibly suicidal, loved by him.
Jimmy met Judy, fell in love, fornicated, committed minor crimes and got wasted, all the time. They accidentally ran over a man to death, shot a cop, burned the corpse, ran away, killed a junky, ran away some more, seek shelter in a hippies’ community, got beaten/raped by the leader of the hippies’ community for killing the junky, killed the leader and some of the followers, ran away some more, hunted by the cops for killing the got-ran-over man, the junky, the leader and the followers. Finally, because of their vow to not be apart from each other, Judy drove the car through a barricade of police patrol car which ended up killing both Judy and Jimmy. The end.
What makes it different?
1. The whole story is captured through Jimmy’s camera, like video-journal. It was like watching a real life event.
2. In spite of the tragedy and misdemeanor, uncannily, the passion seemed so sincere. This was what I meant by love being diversified.
3. See how love tries to suit you, instead of you tries to suit love. Love takes form of the bearer.
Watch it. Recommended. Rated PG
Thursday 29 November 2007
Monday 26 November 2007
What's With the Third Degree??
Story 1
You were strolling in the shopping mall, spotted a very nice jewelry; say a brilliant diamond bracelet on the showcase, stopped, admired it for a bit, and then went in the shop to take a closer look. Upon entry, one of the eyebrow-less Chinese girl under a heavy almost-ghastly likely-terrifying make-up gave you a sour nearly-in-disgust glance. You ignored. Then you took a closer intent look at the item, looking very interested. Amidst the silence, an irritating noise emerged; “Dat one bely expensip arr, two toujen.” You gave the freak-show an intense glare.
We say: What’s with the third degree?
Story 2
You just came out from Nando’s after a meal, and to cool down, you went for a light walk, up and down the escalator. You suddenly spotted a suave shirt on a mannequin in FCUK, went in and lingered for a while. A kampung-looking Malay salesgirl emerged out of nowhere, followed you around like a edgy distressed remora for a bit before gushing out, ‘Yes? How can I help?’ in a very dismayed manner. The C traded place with the U.
We say: What’s with the third degree?
Story 3
You entered a government office for somewhat official business, waited at a counter while one of the makcik was busy entertaining a visitor, a man in a suit & tie. After 15 minutes of waiting, the so-called gentleman left and the makcik in baju kurung and tudung, color mismatched, went to attend to you. Simply greeted you with a smile-less ‘Ye?’, and without even apologizing for the 15 minutes, gave you a blank stare. Her eyes were saying ‘What do you want? Quick, I’m missing my 10 o’clock gossip update with Kak Peah from Account’. Your sense of respect shattered.
We say: What’s with the third degree?
Ever happened to you? May I see a show of hands? I mean, really, what’s with the third degree?
Salesgirls/ Costumer service/ Clerk nak berlagak, please la….
You were strolling in the shopping mall, spotted a very nice jewelry; say a brilliant diamond bracelet on the showcase, stopped, admired it for a bit, and then went in the shop to take a closer look. Upon entry, one of the eyebrow-less Chinese girl under a heavy almost-ghastly likely-terrifying make-up gave you a sour nearly-in-disgust glance. You ignored. Then you took a closer intent look at the item, looking very interested. Amidst the silence, an irritating noise emerged; “Dat one bely expensip arr, two toujen.” You gave the freak-show an intense glare.
We say: What’s with the third degree?
Story 2
You just came out from Nando’s after a meal, and to cool down, you went for a light walk, up and down the escalator. You suddenly spotted a suave shirt on a mannequin in FCUK, went in and lingered for a while. A kampung-looking Malay salesgirl emerged out of nowhere, followed you around like a edgy distressed remora for a bit before gushing out, ‘Yes? How can I help?’ in a very dismayed manner. The C traded place with the U.
We say: What’s with the third degree?
Story 3
You entered a government office for somewhat official business, waited at a counter while one of the makcik was busy entertaining a visitor, a man in a suit & tie. After 15 minutes of waiting, the so-called gentleman left and the makcik in baju kurung and tudung, color mismatched, went to attend to you. Simply greeted you with a smile-less ‘Ye?’, and without even apologizing for the 15 minutes, gave you a blank stare. Her eyes were saying ‘What do you want? Quick, I’m missing my 10 o’clock gossip update with Kak Peah from Account’. Your sense of respect shattered.
We say: What’s with the third degree?
Ever happened to you? May I see a show of hands? I mean, really, what’s with the third degree?
Salesgirls/ Costumer service/ Clerk nak berlagak, please la….
knock*knock... Room Service!!
"The rate will be at RM120 per night for a superior room. For how many nights, sir?"
VOILA!! I give you..........
Not likely!!
How about mouldy walls, stained ceiling & dirty carpets on top of the above picture.
How about tainted wash basin, cracked floor tiles, stained WC & bath tub you don't dare to dive into.
Not to mention the smell! I suddenly imagined Dark Waters.
I'm not being difficult, fussy or all finicky. But for a smacking RM120, come on...
I know it's in KL and all, but please. You really expect the people to pay that whole lotta money for a crap like this? Yeah, maybe it's only RM120 for some people, but still. That sum for a lobster dinner would be much more worth it, don't you think?
Truth, I've been in crappy hotels, honestly! During a project in Sibu. True, and I have absolutely no problem with it. Small, smelly, no window, for RM48, ok lah kan... You only need it to sleep. For RM48, what more can you expect?
Now, imagine the same room condition for RM120. Would you not complain?
Now, what do you expect to get for a room that cost that much?
VOILA!! I give you..........
Not likely!!
How about mouldy walls, stained ceiling & dirty carpets on top of the above picture.
How about tainted wash basin, cracked floor tiles, stained WC & bath tub you don't dare to dive into.
Not to mention the smell! I suddenly imagined Dark Waters.
I'm not being difficult, fussy or all finicky. But for a smacking RM120, come on...
I know it's in KL and all, but please. You really expect the people to pay that whole lotta money for a crap like this? Yeah, maybe it's only RM120 for some people, but still. That sum for a lobster dinner would be much more worth it, don't you think?
Truth, I've been in crappy hotels, honestly! During a project in Sibu. True, and I have absolutely no problem with it. Small, smelly, no window, for RM48, ok lah kan... You only need it to sleep. For RM48, what more can you expect?
Now, imagine the same room condition for RM120. Would you not complain?
Friday 23 November 2007
Fool's Garden
... I know it's a name of a forgotten band, but this has absolutely nothing to do with it.
If there IS such a place where fools live together, okay? Are you with me? Imagine... the place would be called Fool's Garden, and sadly, I do know a few people living there.
One would be, of course the ever so popular and sooo stupid Mr. IDIOT. He lives just next door to the not-so-informed Minister of Information, and not so far away from is-that-really-hair-I-swear-I-saw-it-moved-haired Minister of Works. Somewhere just around the corner are a community of police officers serving the Fool's Garden neighbourhood. But that would be another story, unlike this one.
This is a story of a person so dense that this event that happened to him, happened to none other. You can tell him apart from his tightly combed hair, oddly to the sides, so slick that people are afraid to wear that style of hair ever again in this era. A friend, Har called it Rambut Rempek. This is how mothers used to combed their 4 year old sons' hair back in the 60s. It was too old fashion that people caught wearing that style was stoned to death. Yes, it's true. There's a story behind that, but again, that's a whole different story, unlike this one.
Thus, on that faithful day, he was driving a 4WD to a far away land so distanced from the urban life. The place was so remote, although there were properly well-bitumined road, it was all hills and valleys. Of course, that was not a problem for his odd and ill-decorated-to-the-extent-of-killing-the-aesthatic-value-of-a-precious-200grand-car 4WD. Off he went 100kmph, over the hill and down to the valley.
That was when he met up with a police patrol car slowly climbing the 45degrees hill. Refused to tail the struggling white automobile, he changed gear and got ready to over-take it. Of course, there was no sin commited, until a double white line painted on the road was put into consideration then you are purposely provoking them. And yes, the fool, meaning the 4WD driver not the police, did it anyway.
It didn't take the patrol car too long before they caught up with him at the downhill. And the fool paid the price of being a fool.
Not quite Max-X cum Lemony Snicket, eah? Hahah!
And I say: What were you thinking? Were you even thinking? 100kmph + overtaking + double line + patrol car = ??? Do the math, dumb-ass!
In this case, Nad, I agree with you, girl! There are people out there who are IDIOTIC! And guess what, they lived in one place. Fool's Garden.
P/s: Please don't mind my grammar, I was in a hurry.
If there IS such a place where fools live together, okay? Are you with me? Imagine... the place would be called Fool's Garden, and sadly, I do know a few people living there.
One would be, of course the ever so popular and sooo stupid Mr. IDIOT. He lives just next door to the not-so-informed Minister of Information, and not so far away from is-that-really-hair-I-swear-I-saw-it-moved-haired Minister of Works. Somewhere just around the corner are a community of police officers serving the Fool's Garden neighbourhood. But that would be another story, unlike this one.
This is a story of a person so dense that this event that happened to him, happened to none other. You can tell him apart from his tightly combed hair, oddly to the sides, so slick that people are afraid to wear that style of hair ever again in this era. A friend, Har called it Rambut Rempek. This is how mothers used to combed their 4 year old sons' hair back in the 60s. It was too old fashion that people caught wearing that style was stoned to death. Yes, it's true. There's a story behind that, but again, that's a whole different story, unlike this one.
Thus, on that faithful day, he was driving a 4WD to a far away land so distanced from the urban life. The place was so remote, although there were properly well-bitumined road, it was all hills and valleys. Of course, that was not a problem for his odd and ill-decorated-to-the-extent-of-killing-the-aesthatic-value-of-a-precious-200grand-car 4WD. Off he went 100kmph, over the hill and down to the valley.
That was when he met up with a police patrol car slowly climbing the 45degrees hill. Refused to tail the struggling white automobile, he changed gear and got ready to over-take it. Of course, there was no sin commited, until a double white line painted on the road was put into consideration then you are purposely provoking them. And yes, the fool, meaning the 4WD driver not the police, did it anyway.
It didn't take the patrol car too long before they caught up with him at the downhill. And the fool paid the price of being a fool.
Not quite Max-X cum Lemony Snicket, eah? Hahah!
And I say: What were you thinking? Were you even thinking? 100kmph + overtaking + double line + patrol car = ??? Do the math, dumb-ass!
In this case, Nad, I agree with you, girl! There are people out there who are IDIOTIC! And guess what, they lived in one place. Fool's Garden.
P/s: Please don't mind my grammar, I was in a hurry.
The Not So Great Escape
It has been a while.
A friend, insisted to be remained mysterious, so I refer her as Purple, refuses to leave message in the tagboard but leaves me comments instead, said it's not 'artistically healthy', if there's ever such a disease, to not leave any entry for such a long time. Exact words :Mana entry blog baru?..a writer minds mesti dah flooding kalau tak menulis..ayuh..menarikan irama penulisan dgn menghentakkan keyboard sambil menatap monitor tuh.. ** Check out her blog http://premonitionofpurple.blogspot.com/
Anyway, I got almost a week off, yes!!, from work, well, not quite, as I still got calls from office asking about works so many times per day that it ticks my wife off.
No matter, I still get to be away from the office and most importantly, away from Mr. IDIOT (curse be with him. Well, you remember him. If you don't, check previous post.)
Besides the point.
I was away to arrange my visa application, and let me tell you, the horror. The form, gosh, was an excruciating experience. Can you believe the Brit's paranoia? They asked ridiculous question repeatedly, it sounded almost like an interrogation rather than an enquiry.
Q: List down the name of personal/ organization who would sponsor you going to the UK
A: ..bla..bla.. personal savings, parents n stuff
Q: List down the name of personal/ organization who would be paying for your travel
A: 'Paying for' and 'sponsoring' is like... the same, isn't it? I'm just checking.
Q: List down the name of personal/ organization who would be sponsoring your studies
A: Didn't you just ask me that? Again, checking.
Q: List down the name of personal/ organizaton who would be sponsoring your stay
A: You want me to repeat my answer again, aren't you?
Q: Does the personal/ organization knows that they are sponsoring you?
A: ??? Your kidding, aren't you? What do you mean 'Do they know"? No, they don't. I stole the money from them. WHAT DO YOU THINK??
That's where I drew the line, and there a were a few more. 6 to 7 of it at least, just circulating around the same subject, over-and over- and over- and over again. Ridiculous, ain't it? And then there's the 'ok-no-more games-let-us-be straight-to-you' questions.
Q: Do you have any criminal records? Please state details.
A: Yes, I stole money from my sponsor. Shish!! NO!
Q: Have you ever been deported/ refuse entry in UK? If yes, please state reasons.
A: Ok la, this one I can answer.. No. This is my 1st time applying. But again, wha..?
Q: Have you ever been involve with terrorist activity. If yes, please state details.
A: Not yet, but I will if you don't approve my visa!! Gosh, NO!! Of course not!
Paranoia can make you do ridiculous things. Look at the Gov. Couple of loud voices, stir and watch them go. Just makes you go "wha..?"
A friend, insisted to be remained mysterious, so I refer her as Purple, refuses to leave message in the tagboard but leaves me comments instead, said it's not 'artistically healthy', if there's ever such a disease, to not leave any entry for such a long time. Exact words :Mana entry blog baru?..a writer minds mesti dah flooding kalau tak menulis..ayuh..menarikan irama penulisan dgn menghentakkan keyboard sambil menatap monitor tuh.. ** Check out her blog http://premonitionofpurple.blogspot.com/
Anyway, I got almost a week off, yes!!, from work, well, not quite, as I still got calls from office asking about works so many times per day that it ticks my wife off.
No matter, I still get to be away from the office and most importantly, away from Mr. IDIOT (curse be with him. Well, you remember him. If you don't, check previous post.)
Besides the point.
I was away to arrange my visa application, and let me tell you, the horror. The form, gosh, was an excruciating experience. Can you believe the Brit's paranoia? They asked ridiculous question repeatedly, it sounded almost like an interrogation rather than an enquiry.
Q: List down the name of personal/ organization who would sponsor you going to the UK
A: ..bla..bla.. personal savings, parents n stuff
Q: List down the name of personal/ organization who would be paying for your travel
A: 'Paying for' and 'sponsoring' is like... the same, isn't it? I'm just checking.
Q: List down the name of personal/ organization who would be sponsoring your studies
A: Didn't you just ask me that? Again, checking.
Q: List down the name of personal/ organizaton who would be sponsoring your stay
A: You want me to repeat my answer again, aren't you?
Q: Does the personal/ organization knows that they are sponsoring you?
A: ??? Your kidding, aren't you? What do you mean 'Do they know"? No, they don't. I stole the money from them. WHAT DO YOU THINK??
That's where I drew the line, and there a were a few more. 6 to 7 of it at least, just circulating around the same subject, over-and over- and over- and over again. Ridiculous, ain't it? And then there's the 'ok-no-more games-let-us-be straight-to-you' questions.
Q: Do you have any criminal records? Please state details.
A: Yes, I stole money from my sponsor. Shish!! NO!
Q: Have you ever been deported/ refuse entry in UK? If yes, please state reasons.
A: Ok la, this one I can answer.. No. This is my 1st time applying. But again, wha..?
Q: Have you ever been involve with terrorist activity. If yes, please state details.
A: Not yet, but I will if you don't approve my visa!! Gosh, NO!! Of course not!
Paranoia can make you do ridiculous things. Look at the Gov. Couple of loud voices, stir and watch them go. Just makes you go "wha..?"
Thursday 15 November 2007
I Am But Man
My wife, after reading my previous post, namely "My Writing Carrier", made somewhat fair critic towards the writings, solemnly, on what, of course, seems dreadfully obvious, but not quite at that time, was the freakin spelling of the word CARRIER, rather than CAREER (Ammendments made, folks, thank you very much!)
So much for my writing career.I can't even get the freakin spelling right!!
But guess what? I am but man. (Of course, at that time I was spilling my brain out, I could not care less about the spelling-*Huh, reasons! Shish! )
I find it to be rather silly. As a matter of fact, I find it to be so silly that I might include, on occasion, mis-spelled words, purposely of course,*Yeah, right! Cover lah tu..., and call it style, call it art! Why not? They do that, you know? I've watched a theatre once, entitled Fourplay, in which there are four plays in one, obviously, amidst it all one entitled Blissfull Marred (mis-spell of Bless-ful Marriage) and it's about marriage gone wrong. It was hilarious!
Besides the point.
Anyway, remember folks, it is spelled C-A-R-E-E-R, not C-A-R-R-I-E-R, which happens to mean something else totally irrelevant. There goes my writing career * Sea, eye got eat write these thyme, hah!
So much for my writing career.I can't even get the freakin spelling right!!
But guess what? I am but man. (Of course, at that time I was spilling my brain out, I could not care less about the spelling-*Huh, reasons! Shish! )
I find it to be rather silly. As a matter of fact, I find it to be so silly that I might include, on occasion, mis-spelled words, purposely of course,*Yeah, right! Cover lah tu..., and call it style, call it art! Why not? They do that, you know? I've watched a theatre once, entitled Fourplay, in which there are four plays in one, obviously, amidst it all one entitled Blissfull Marred (mis-spell of Bless-ful Marriage) and it's about marriage gone wrong. It was hilarious!
Besides the point.
Anyway, remember folks, it is spelled C-A-R-E-E-R, not C-A-R-R-I-E-R, which happens to mean something else totally irrelevant. There goes my writing career * Sea, eye got eat write these thyme, hah!
Friday 9 November 2007
TGIF!!! ** not the restaurant!
I had an interview just now, for my scholarship, it was horrible. I think I screwed up so badly that the interviewers laughed like mad when I walked out of the room. I swear I heard giggles and something large like a chair fell down and knock the floor. Ahh, exaggerate la dia nih!
This is not my first interview, in fact I went to sooo many interviews, it should be like walking in a cinema, in and out, like that *finger snap* !! Yeah right... you wish! Some are pretty disastrous as well, but hey...
Has anyone read 'The Secrets',? Or watch the movie? I heard that it's sooo good. Let me hear what you have to say. Anyone?
This is not my first interview, in fact I went to sooo many interviews, it should be like walking in a cinema, in and out, like that *finger snap* !! Yeah right... you wish! Some are pretty disastrous as well, but hey...
Has anyone read 'The Secrets',? Or watch the movie? I heard that it's sooo good. Let me hear what you have to say. Anyone?
Wednesday 7 November 2007
My Writing Career
Remember when I say that I wanted to be a writer? This just might be my first book...
Dark Justice 101: Taking Matters at Your Own Hands for Beginners
Righteousness Starts at Home
Lesson No. 1: Sloth in the house
Should you encounter idle or laziness within the parameter of your living compound, normally caused by roommates or fellow tenants in the house, note that this is as common as houseflies. Do not panic, as it would solve nothing.
Pick one fine day when the jack-ass, I mean sloth, I mean person does his/her laundry.When he/she is about to leave the laundry to spin, you stand by for action. As he/she leaves for his/her routine dosage of never-ending beauty sleep, or MTV, or computer games, gracefully move towards the washing machine and gently drop a sum of food colorings or dye (color of your choice, but for annoyance effect, use color most offensive to the offenders) into the washings. Observe the changing color and leave quickly. Be swift and unnoticeable. Any noticeable moves might lead to dire clobbering to your head and the likes. You will suffer pain. Pay extra attention to destroy all evidence, as any leaks would lead to excruciating strangle on the neck.
Notice that your action starts to take effect when the offender screams in terrible agony and followed by the offenders several repetition of washing to obtain satisfactory cleanliness. Notice that you have successfully trigger disruption in his routine of total idleness.
Warning: Strictly no disposal of evidence in the public water supply or residential/ public swimming pool. People in your neighborhood turning into odd colored is least of the problem, for the table might turn and you become an offender, where justice might gets to you in return.
Lesson No. 2: Justice On the Move
In case of an encounter with a motorist who you might strongly believe to be an offender (e.g road bullies and Mat Rempit, especially) engaged in a serious accident involving severe injuries, first thing to do is, do not panic. Move from your vehicle and move in a bit closer to the victim. Make sure, really sure, that the victim is a confirmed 100% sure-offender. As confirmation is made, kick the lying victim on the torso just above the crotch. Nothing too fancy, Van Damme-like or anything, Just a forceful slide repeated would be sufficient.
Note that a good dark justice practitioner would be able to encourage any by-standers to join him/her in the kicking process. Notice that what we initially like to refer to as 'padan-muka' effect starting to take effect.
Again, this is an advice to all/potential dark justice practitioner. Be 100% sure that the victim IS an offender. Should the matter somehow be known otherwise (especially during the kicking process), the kicking will divert to you instead. You will eventually suffer pain.
Lesson No. 3: ‘Just’ Park Here
You might come across a vehicle parked in a very erroneous way, e.g. non-central parker, unsuitably diagonal parker, eat-my-space parker, blocking-traffic-flow parker, no-zoner parker, and the most sinister, sukati-mak-bapak-aku-nak-park-kat-mane parker.
In this calamity, you need to stay absolutely calm and approach the vehicle in a very poised manner. Bring along preferably a 2 x 4 plank, or a club, or whatever you think can do damage, towards the vehicle.
Take aim at the spot you find suitable. This would be entirely up to the dark justice practitioner/ potential practitioner, and at his own choice of damage. However, avoid glass as the shatters will cause inconvenient to other passers-by. Swing a good 110 degree, take a deep breath, smile and release to the aimed spot.
Should the owner cum parker cum offender is in the vehicle at that time, avoid any vocal interaction, as it would cause nuisance. Instead, take another good swing and aim at the head to knock them unconscious, should they initiate attack.
In the case where offender is absent, take a spray paint and spray to the windshield. This is again entirely up to the practitioner/ potential practitioner. We suggest: SPLENDID FARKING, PUCKER!
Special Warning: To all practitioners/ potential practitioners, do make sure that you are an obsolete bona fide believer of justice. Should you be found guilty of being otherwise, you will be clubbed to death and you will suffer pain.
Just a brief overiew of it, a somewhat 'trailer' of what to expect... NOT!
Dark Justice 101: Taking Matters at Your Own Hands for Beginners
Righteousness Starts at Home
Lesson No. 1: Sloth in the house
Should you encounter idle or laziness within the parameter of your living compound, normally caused by roommates or fellow tenants in the house, note that this is as common as houseflies. Do not panic, as it would solve nothing.
Pick one fine day when the jack-ass, I mean sloth, I mean person does his/her laundry.When he/she is about to leave the laundry to spin, you stand by for action. As he/she leaves for his/her routine dosage of never-ending beauty sleep, or MTV, or computer games, gracefully move towards the washing machine and gently drop a sum of food colorings or dye (color of your choice, but for annoyance effect, use color most offensive to the offenders) into the washings. Observe the changing color and leave quickly. Be swift and unnoticeable. Any noticeable moves might lead to dire clobbering to your head and the likes. You will suffer pain. Pay extra attention to destroy all evidence, as any leaks would lead to excruciating strangle on the neck.
Notice that your action starts to take effect when the offender screams in terrible agony and followed by the offenders several repetition of washing to obtain satisfactory cleanliness. Notice that you have successfully trigger disruption in his routine of total idleness.
Warning: Strictly no disposal of evidence in the public water supply or residential/ public swimming pool. People in your neighborhood turning into odd colored is least of the problem, for the table might turn and you become an offender, where justice might gets to you in return.
Lesson No. 2: Justice On the Move
In case of an encounter with a motorist who you might strongly believe to be an offender (e.g road bullies and Mat Rempit, especially) engaged in a serious accident involving severe injuries, first thing to do is, do not panic. Move from your vehicle and move in a bit closer to the victim. Make sure, really sure, that the victim is a confirmed 100% sure-offender. As confirmation is made, kick the lying victim on the torso just above the crotch. Nothing too fancy, Van Damme-like or anything, Just a forceful slide repeated would be sufficient.
Note that a good dark justice practitioner would be able to encourage any by-standers to join him/her in the kicking process. Notice that what we initially like to refer to as 'padan-muka' effect starting to take effect.
Again, this is an advice to all/potential dark justice practitioner. Be 100% sure that the victim IS an offender. Should the matter somehow be known otherwise (especially during the kicking process), the kicking will divert to you instead. You will eventually suffer pain.
Lesson No. 3: ‘Just’ Park Here
You might come across a vehicle parked in a very erroneous way, e.g. non-central parker, unsuitably diagonal parker, eat-my-space parker, blocking-traffic-flow parker, no-zoner parker, and the most sinister, sukati-mak-bapak-aku-nak-park-kat-mane parker.
In this calamity, you need to stay absolutely calm and approach the vehicle in a very poised manner. Bring along preferably a 2 x 4 plank, or a club, or whatever you think can do damage, towards the vehicle.
Take aim at the spot you find suitable. This would be entirely up to the dark justice practitioner/ potential practitioner, and at his own choice of damage. However, avoid glass as the shatters will cause inconvenient to other passers-by. Swing a good 110 degree, take a deep breath, smile and release to the aimed spot.
Should the owner cum parker cum offender is in the vehicle at that time, avoid any vocal interaction, as it would cause nuisance. Instead, take another good swing and aim at the head to knock them unconscious, should they initiate attack.
In the case where offender is absent, take a spray paint and spray to the windshield. This is again entirely up to the practitioner/ potential practitioner. We suggest: SPLENDID FARKING, PUCKER!
Special Warning: To all practitioners/ potential practitioners, do make sure that you are an obsolete bona fide believer of justice. Should you be found guilty of being otherwise, you will be clubbed to death and you will suffer pain.
Just a brief overiew of it, a somewhat 'trailer' of what to expect... NOT!
Tuesday 6 November 2007
Can't Get It Out Off My Head
It's too annoying for me to leave it alone! The 'Book-Hater' gets to me sooo much these days that I have to do this. You leave me with no choice. Yeah right, as if this was the biggest sin ever committed by man-kind.. Well, it is! At least to me, it is!! *finger stuck out*
Ok, let us recap what really happened.
Let us refer Book-Hater a.k.a Shallow Twerp a.k.a Manusia Bongok Bodoh Sombong Tak Sedar Diri (obviously, I have personal issue with this unfortunate bloke, I admit it) as Mr. IDIOT
Date of event; Somewhat long time ago, I remember strongly that it was during Potter-Mania, right after the release of the long awaited Book No. 7. (Yes, that long, I don't forget that easily)
Note that the names are changed, as well as the language (S'wak to English lah)
So, on that faithful morning...
Me :
I just bought the new HP, No. 7... (me, regretfully being friendly)
Mr. IDIOT :
Oh, the new movie? Out already?
Me:
(Inner Me: Movie? Who's talking about movie. Hello, Earth to Mr. IDIOT) No. The book. The long awaited.....
Mr. IDIOT :
You actually have time to read? Gosh
Me:
What do you mean? It's only the most celebrated modern literature ever.
Mr. IDIOT :
Urgh, really? I just hate reading.
Me:
(stunned) (Inner Me: Didn't expect it be blurred out like that. You could have made it more subtle, idiot. No wonder you're so boring.)
Me:
(Innocently) Why? You should try it. Once you tried it, you won't know how to stop.
Mr. IDIOT :
Really? (sarcastically) I just hate it. So, I don't want to.
Me:
You really don't know what you're missing (Inner Me: Gosh, now I know why you didn't finish Medicine. For info, the monkey wasted 2 semesters, I think, in Med. You=doctor? Dream on! Let's see you try to make into Engineering industries with that shallowness and ignorance, you pig!)
Mr. IDIOT :
I don't know how you find time. To me it's just boring.
Me:
What? *snigger*(Inner Me : Boring? You're boring!! You don't know the half meaning of it, you ass!)
Me:
You don't know that. You never tried. (Inner Me: And like hell you will! How ever did you become a fuckin' Project Manager. You're the Most Shallowest PM in the whole wide world!)
Mr. IDIOT :
Dah la, Lee. It's boring, I hate it, I just don't like it and I won't. I can't imagine that you can find time for it.
Me:
Sukati la, you just don't know what your missing (Inner Me: Unbelieavable! Yeah, yeah. We get it. You have a dire allergy towards books. Or you're afraid that the Big Bad Book might hurt you. Ooooooooohhh.... Ok, ok, we get it. Man, you suck!)
Ok, I might exaggerate my emotion, and I might be a bit carried away (a bit, hah!), and obviously I have serious unforgivable issue with the jerk (considering that he's the most hated person right now, yeah, I guess you can say that), but honestly, people who doesn't respect any work of art, ANY WORK OF ART, in this case literature, just ticks me off. I don't mind if you choose to pay less attention to it, but if shut it down and make fun of people who really appreciate it, I'm lost for words for you, man.(said it all already anyway,so?)
Ok, let us recap what really happened.
Let us refer Book-Hater a.k.a Shallow Twerp a.k.a Manusia Bongok Bodoh Sombong Tak Sedar Diri (obviously, I have personal issue with this unfortunate bloke, I admit it) as Mr. IDIOT
Date of event; Somewhat long time ago, I remember strongly that it was during Potter-Mania, right after the release of the long awaited Book No. 7. (Yes, that long, I don't forget that easily)
Note that the names are changed, as well as the language (S'wak to English lah)
So, on that faithful morning...
Me :
I just bought the new HP, No. 7... (me, regretfully being friendly)
Mr. IDIOT :
Oh, the new movie? Out already?
Me:
(Inner Me: Movie? Who's talking about movie. Hello, Earth to Mr. IDIOT) No. The book. The long awaited.....
Mr. IDIOT :
You actually have time to read? Gosh
Me:
What do you mean? It's only the most celebrated modern literature ever.
Mr. IDIOT :
Urgh, really? I just hate reading.
Me:
(stunned) (Inner Me: Didn't expect it be blurred out like that. You could have made it more subtle, idiot. No wonder you're so boring.)
Me:
(Innocently) Why? You should try it. Once you tried it, you won't know how to stop.
Mr. IDIOT :
Really? (sarcastically) I just hate it. So, I don't want to.
Me:
You really don't know what you're missing (Inner Me: Gosh, now I know why you didn't finish Medicine. For info, the monkey wasted 2 semesters, I think, in Med. You=doctor? Dream on! Let's see you try to make into Engineering industries with that shallowness and ignorance, you pig!)
Mr. IDIOT :
I don't know how you find time. To me it's just boring.
Me:
What? *snigger*(Inner Me : Boring? You're boring!! You don't know the half meaning of it, you ass!)
Me:
You don't know that. You never tried. (Inner Me: And like hell you will! How ever did you become a fuckin' Project Manager. You're the Most Shallowest PM in the whole wide world!)
Mr. IDIOT :
Dah la, Lee. It's boring, I hate it, I just don't like it and I won't. I can't imagine that you can find time for it.
Me:
Sukati la, you just don't know what your missing (Inner Me: Unbelieavable! Yeah, yeah. We get it. You have a dire allergy towards books. Or you're afraid that the Big Bad Book might hurt you. Ooooooooohhh.... Ok, ok, we get it. Man, you suck!)
Ok, I might exaggerate my emotion, and I might be a bit carried away (a bit, hah!), and obviously I have serious unforgivable issue with the jerk (considering that he's the most hated person right now, yeah, I guess you can say that), but honestly, people who doesn't respect any work of art, ANY WORK OF ART, in this case literature, just ticks me off. I don't mind if you choose to pay less attention to it, but if shut it down and make fun of people who really appreciate it, I'm lost for words for you, man.(said it all already anyway,so?)
Monday 5 November 2007
Hah! I Nearly Forgot!
Honestly! I can't believe that I nearly forgot. After a while I've been planning to publish it on this very date. Something for the movie fan. Well, here goes..
Remember, remember the 5th of November,
The gunpowder treason and plot
I know of no reason the gunpowder treason,
Should ever be forgot
I would like to share this not because of my interest towards the person/character, it's my interest towards the idea. And as they say, the person may die, but the idea lives, forever.
.... and folks, that's that.
" But I Wanna Be A Paperback Writer..."
... Beatles, 1967 (Paperback Writer)
Yes, I do. Well, not necessarily paperback, anything will do, magazine columnist, newspaper columnist, hardcover... even better. The point is; I wanna be a writer.
I love the wonderous nature of words and the subtle magic it can do. True, I believe in magic and it comes in the form of beautiful sentences, wonderous phrases and brilliant words of a poet.
Okay, okay... I don't believe in magic and it doesn't comes in the form of.... whatever!!! I DON'T!!! I'm just trying to tell everyone that I can do a bit of words arrangements me-self.. *ehem-ehem* (... and the 'Inner Me', joins the rest of the world, feeling disgusted.. *uweekkkk....*)
But, honestly, I do. I do want to be a writer (for the 1000 x). I think it's interesting. Sharing your thoughts and passion with the rest of the world, via writings, or as I prefer it, via stories. Isn't that interesting? I love the concept of giving away secret messages through a story. I'm fascinated with the scheme of informing people via alternative medium. I'm intrigued by the idea of telling without telling.
I believe that 'the artists tell lies to reveal the truth whilst politicians tell lies to hide the truth' (Evey Hammond acted by Nat Portman in V for Vendetta). Hence, we lie, I lie... only to tell the truth. Telling lies, by that would mean telling stories. Ain't telling stories are lying in a poetic and artistic way? (I picked that up loosely from Big Fat Liar, or somewhere.... I think)
Alas, in the typical realist world we are living in, artist are seen as nothing but entertainment, as per garnishing on a dish, as per decorative ornament on festivities, or as per aesthatic element of a structure.
Auspiciously, we are in the realist world, that we can tell the truth without telling. Telling to the right/preferred people via our stories, or as Mr. Wilde preferred it, via our 'mask'.
By that, I don't mean buku-buku cinta Bahasa Melayu yang jiwang-jiwang tu! Those books serves no intellectual purposes, unlike numerous writers (mind you, Malaysian writers like Adibah Amin and the likes, not foreigners, ok?), they actually tell stories while they 'intellect-ify' (no such words, I'm just making a point) the readers.
Thus, I want in! I want to be in that band wagon! For the 1001 x, I wanna be a freakin' writer!
So, if there's anyone out there who knows how to get your material published, do share *blink-blink*.
P.S - I get irritated when someone tells me, exact word: 'I hate reading' or 'I don't like to read' or 'Reading is boring' (True event, I had the not-so-privelege of meeting one) Idiots, you don't know what you're missing assholes! However, citation such as 'I'm not much of a reader' and such, is still very much forgivable. (exception: my wife is not much of a reader as well but she gets away with it 100% coz' she's my wife.. haha..)
Yes, I do. Well, not necessarily paperback, anything will do, magazine columnist, newspaper columnist, hardcover... even better. The point is; I wanna be a writer.
I love the wonderous nature of words and the subtle magic it can do. True, I believe in magic and it comes in the form of beautiful sentences, wonderous phrases and brilliant words of a poet.
Okay, okay... I don't believe in magic and it doesn't comes in the form of.... whatever!!! I DON'T!!! I'm just trying to tell everyone that I can do a bit of words arrangements me-self.. *ehem-ehem* (... and the 'Inner Me', joins the rest of the world, feeling disgusted.. *uweekkkk....*)
But, honestly, I do. I do want to be a writer (for the 1000 x). I think it's interesting. Sharing your thoughts and passion with the rest of the world, via writings, or as I prefer it, via stories. Isn't that interesting? I love the concept of giving away secret messages through a story. I'm fascinated with the scheme of informing people via alternative medium. I'm intrigued by the idea of telling without telling.
I believe that 'the artists tell lies to reveal the truth whilst politicians tell lies to hide the truth' (Evey Hammond acted by Nat Portman in V for Vendetta). Hence, we lie, I lie... only to tell the truth. Telling lies, by that would mean telling stories. Ain't telling stories are lying in a poetic and artistic way? (I picked that up loosely from Big Fat Liar, or somewhere.... I think)
Alas, in the typical realist world we are living in, artist are seen as nothing but entertainment, as per garnishing on a dish, as per decorative ornament on festivities, or as per aesthatic element of a structure.
Auspiciously, we are in the realist world, that we can tell the truth without telling. Telling to the right/preferred people via our stories, or as Mr. Wilde preferred it, via our 'mask'.
By that, I don't mean buku-buku cinta Bahasa Melayu yang jiwang-jiwang tu! Those books serves no intellectual purposes, unlike numerous writers (mind you, Malaysian writers like Adibah Amin and the likes, not foreigners, ok?), they actually tell stories while they 'intellect-ify' (no such words, I'm just making a point) the readers.
Thus, I want in! I want to be in that band wagon! For the 1001 x, I wanna be a freakin' writer!
So, if there's anyone out there who knows how to get your material published, do share *blink-blink*.
P.S - I get irritated when someone tells me, exact word: 'I hate reading' or 'I don't like to read' or 'Reading is boring' (True event, I had the not-so-privelege of meeting one) Idiots, you don't know what you're missing assholes! However, citation such as 'I'm not much of a reader' and such, is still very much forgivable. (exception: my wife is not much of a reader as well but she gets away with it 100% coz' she's my wife.. haha..)
Friday 2 November 2007
Follow the Leader
Watching French Revolution on History Channel the other day got me to think of how much I'm intrigued by the likes of Maximillien Robespierre and their aspiration. Not what they fight for, off course, but their ambition, and will, their struggle for changes and their believe in the cause, whatever it is.
Mind taking a look at the followings, folks. Hitler, Lenin, Jim Jones, Charlie Manson (yes, the crackhead mass-murderer), Voldermort (no joke) etc.
What do these people have in common? They believe in something so much that they fight blood and tears for it, in spite of intense disagreement towards it by others. They have power to drastically change their followers' perspective by just giving their infamous knock-out speeches (yes, including Manson, although some claimed that that's the grass speaking)
Off course, all of them exhibited ruthless dictatorship.
Most of them are, as acused, power-crazed or rather obsessed with their own ability of persuasion.
Half of them had troubled life, pre-callings.
Several of them resolved to suicide.
One of them, at least, was diagnosed mentally-illed.
But none of them failed in gathering numerous of loyal, die-hard, 'if-you-ask-me-to-stab-myself-now-I'll-do-it-no-question-ask' followers.
You see, I'm not fascinated by whatever grounds those blokes promoted. Just merely their ability and somewhat (sometimes accidental) leadership, despite what the believes are.
If only it was for a good cause..... I mean, minus the questionably psychotic ideologies, bizzare method, tendencies to see self as God and dire resolutions applied in the very end, they might actually can do good in this world.
Things you learn from the telly.... Amazing invention, that dreaded box.
Mind taking a look at the followings, folks. Hitler, Lenin, Jim Jones, Charlie Manson (yes, the crackhead mass-murderer), Voldermort (no joke) etc.
What do these people have in common? They believe in something so much that they fight blood and tears for it, in spite of intense disagreement towards it by others. They have power to drastically change their followers' perspective by just giving their infamous knock-out speeches (yes, including Manson, although some claimed that that's the grass speaking)
Off course, all of them exhibited ruthless dictatorship.
Most of them are, as acused, power-crazed or rather obsessed with their own ability of persuasion.
Half of them had troubled life, pre-callings.
Several of them resolved to suicide.
One of them, at least, was diagnosed mentally-illed.
But none of them failed in gathering numerous of loyal, die-hard, 'if-you-ask-me-to-stab-myself-now-I'll-do-it-no-question-ask' followers.
You see, I'm not fascinated by whatever grounds those blokes promoted. Just merely their ability and somewhat (sometimes accidental) leadership, despite what the believes are.
If only it was for a good cause..... I mean, minus the questionably psychotic ideologies, bizzare method, tendencies to see self as God and dire resolutions applied in the very end, they might actually can do good in this world.
Things you learn from the telly.... Amazing invention, that dreaded box.
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