A Step at A Time

Dear Silence,

Small steps at a time. You'll get there eventually.

Sometimes we overdo ourselves. We demanded so much from ourselves and we forgot one can do so much. We wanted results, fast. We wanted thinks to happen quickly. It doesn't really work that way, does it?

It take nine odd months for a baby to grow in a mother's womb.
It take decades for water to form a coves or waterfall into what they are today.
Good things, or rather 'reward' takes time...

I was reminded again by a friend that fishing eats up a whole lot of your time, but the reward are just sublime. Not just the catch but the feeling, the excitement, the satisfaction.. the experience. No one who loves to go fishing goes fishing because they're hungry for fish (I'm referring to the hobbyist), but for the experience, the anticipated satisfaction, the pre-conceive happy feelings. A friend says that he does not even eat certain fishes, but still enjoy whenever he caught the fishes.

Anyway regardless.
Reward takes time. Inna ma'al usri yusra..
I'll try telling myself this everyday.
We'll get there someday, mate. We will.

Alone and Easy Target

Dear Silence,

Having opinion can be deadly. I had to learn it the hard way.

Apparently, if you have an opinion, best keep it to yourself. Showing it? An even worse idea. People might get the wrong idea.

My advise is that, Silence, if you have an opinion, shut up. Having opinion can be very wrong. Don't say it.
Reveal it, you must... but to those who might understand.

As for me, no one around me understand. Friends? Are subjects that I have missed recently. Acquaintance, none. Family, nil. I don't have anyone that I can share my problem with. People around me are many, but no one wants to understand me. The people around me chose not to understand me. So, I have no one. I can't share it to just anyone. My opinion is always a joke to them.

For I have no one.
Seems like there's a million people around me.
Visually. Reality, I have none.
For I have no one.

I am alone..
Alone and easy target.

Perfect... not

Dear Silence ,

I never liked the band Simple Plan. And so goes to all the bands alike, namely Good Charlotte, All American Rejects and recently entering my list, Green Day (from dookie until nimrod, they were okay, but after that, they've failed to sustain as rockers and became simply a sour unpleasant pop band that plays loud music, giving us the 'illusion' of what rock is ought to be)...

Alas, last night after a long time, I've heard the song "Perfect" again. Before, my whole internal organ would cringe to the sound of its intro riffs, but last night I felt the disappointment. Me, the song, we connected.

I might say here, Silence, that this is all related to the blame thrown at me recently.

In respect to the recent development, pity ol' me has been subjected and rejected.

Subjected in regards to conditions and the ill-being of the 'premise'. Blamed for the horror it has caused, horror to the pocket and to the eyes of people looking, rather their eyes, not so much of mine.

Rejected for my effort of trying to restore it to a decent position, thus I lost my disposition. None of my idea is worth an idea to save the sinking ship.

Blamed and thrown to the flame.
Demise and dismissed.

For that, Silence, I shall now retreat. Never will I have any more responsibility. Just a cry I wish to share, as I am no more but a human. Hear this, the 'premise' has taken a lot from me. I have shed blood, sweat and tears for the 'premise'. I've battled it out. I tried my best. Unfortunately, to some people my effort is just not enough. To them I have not done anything...

I'm sorry I can't be perfect....

New Chapter

Dear silence, It has been a while..

Yes, true. It has.. but as we crawled amongst the thorns and twigs, mud and mess of what we called everyday life, busyness towards nothingness- which can be productive at times, but hey, who's keeping track- we looked back to the things that make us happy sometimes... Quilling, for instance. Oh how I missed those days. I missed writing my heart out. I missed saying things freely, writing whatever my hand (yes hand, when I write, my head and heart merged into a liquefied flesh and blood and oozed towards my hand) desire! I missed it, oh how I missed it.

As it is the first week of the year, Hijra year I mean, it is always a good practice to recap. What have we done and what we are ought to do.. and so we shall, recap.

I made it into the academic line. Yes.
I have always loved to be in front of the crowd. I loved the attention. I loved to be under the spotlight. Love it. Although, subconsciously it is really my insecurity is breaking free. It is not really the need of hearing my own voice, or rather the drive of knowing other is listening to you in a drill sergeant meaning of it . But the satisfaction of knowing (not always though, thus classifying this as an 'illusion of knowing') that people is finally listening to you. Yes. All my life I noticed that no one really listened to me as much as I want them to, or rather I care for them to.. I'm delivering now, Silence. I am doing it, and there are listeners. That is, by far, enough for pity ol' me. Those who weren't listening then, nevermind, looks like they never will, for now.

I need to do research. As a gateway to my book, the one I've been talking about since 2002. But before that, research papers is absolutely prominent. Though the progress is a little bit slow, I will do it.

Our ship is coming in, Silence.
Yes, our first step into business. Our baby.. InsyaAllah.. Pray for our success, Silence as you too will have your share. Please pray for us.

That's all for now, a lot more to come.

The Quiller is back in town, Silence.

I was being bullied for wearing blue that day, and I was asked to leave. Maybe because the other was wearing red on the playground that day. But everyone was playing the same game and no one got hurt. In fact, the big boy in a red shirt and a red cap, I think his name was Richie, he was playing rougher than anyone in the park that day, no one asked him to leave. Timmy, the gangly boy from Art was kicking a sand castle Jodie built in the box, but no one told him to leave. Jodie had to leave instead, because she wore that blue ribbon on her hair. By the way, who declared a Red Day that day? I thought that it was a free playground and everyone gets to wear what they want!

Someone must be out of their mind when they say that Malaysia is coming nearer to anarchism. Yes, I have people tell me that. I say, you're out of your mind.

Well, just because of some exaggerated fact by the media, suddenly practicing your civil rights becomes illegal. Expressing your thoughts become highly hazardous. And thinking your thoughts out loud is prohibited.

We are expected to stand still, and let the top guns do whatever they want to do with our money.
We are expected to be silence, while some people gets the privilege of reaping fruits of our labor.
We are expected to swear loyalty, when the people we are loyal to stab us in the back with the very same dagger we raise and swore with.
We are expected to submit reliance, to the people who had no intention what so ever react to that reliance if it is of no importance but to themselves.

To me, this is nothing but a discrimination of an exclusive kind. I'm being discriminated in my own country. Just because I'm not one of them, I'm uncleaned. I'm dirt. For that I'm bullied. For that I'm being discriminated...

I was asked to leave the playground just because I wore blue that day.

The Girl Who Was Forgotten By Absolutely Everyone (Even The Postman)

This is an excellent piece of artwork by Katy Towell. I wish to share this discovery with you all. It is innocence interpreted in a very dark perspective, none so close to diabolical, and bizarrely lovable.



If you like this one, I'm sure you're going to love "When Genevieve Ruled The World"; a story about a three and a half years old girl who ruled the world. You can find more of her artwork in Youtube from her own channel 'katytowell'. Enjoy.

... and I quote...

I am really taking offense with this 'Annoy'-nymous git.

Let me repeat myself;

1. "I don't like receiving comments from people I don't know. Comments are for friends and acquaintance as I previously notified"... well? are you my friend? If not, what are you doing?

2. "Start declaring yourself"... if you want to be true, honest, declare yourself. If you're truly-truly-truly sincere, with no intention to annoy, I don't see why we can't have a... resourceful, if not' friendly', debate about it. Again I repeat "I don't like receiving comments from people I don't know"

And this Simon Cowell approach, it doesn't work here, matey! (by the way, I bet you must love him so much, don't you?)

I'm guessing you've missed my response to your comments about Snicket's and my work. I suggest you read them. It's under 'We Wont Get Fooled Again'.

Maybe I need to say this again, in case you need them to be shoved in a couple of times before it really sinks in: "I don't like receiving comments from people I don't know". In my defense, I have every right to blow off steam. Try having some total stranger walks into your house, eats your cooking and says they're rubbish. Even if they are rubbish, having friends say them, you won't be that offended But having stranger says them instead, you'll be questioning his motives and you will have every intention to kick his arse out of your house, right?

Please be informed that this blog is absolutely for my self satisfaction, not for yours or any member of the public. Never intended to be for your entertainment, but for myself and friends with whom I wish to share things (maybe I should put a disclaimer for this) If you happen to somehow make your way here, I say thank you for the visit. You might be lost, but thank you anyway. This is everything on a platter. If you don't see anything you like, tough.

So, are you gonna introduce yourself?

I read my previous post, and my grammar was all over the place. Spelling error, missing words.. I poured everything out so quickly, I didn't check. I was in a rush.

If I managed to confuse anyone, forgive me.

I made... some... necessary, not all, corrections though. Need to be more careful next time.

In Good Company

Just when I thought that celebrating Raya here would be dull and lonely, I was going for open houses nonstop for the last two weekends.

Of course, nothing beats celebrating Raya back in Malaysia.. just that I did not expect that it could be this enjoyable. The people, the acquaintance, the warmth.. I don't even want to go to... 'describing' the food! It's the little chit-chat, it's the"getting to know", it's the association, it's the new friends... It's the good company, feels like you never left home.

I don't think it's too late for greetings, thus I'm taking this opportunity to wish friends and family Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir Batin. This goes out to all friends in Malaysia. Also to our new friends in Birmingham, Coventry, Bilston, Manchester and of course, Wolverhampton.

Talking about friends, I am disabling receipt of comments from people calling themselves 'Anonymous'. The reason be, I don't like receiving comments from people I don't know. Comments are for friends and acquaintance as I previously notified.

As much as I appreciated them (except the last one from some ignorant-art-blind-but-talking-like-you-know-it-all-reality-show-lovin-person-whoever-you-are-so-fekov!), I forbid 'Anonymous'! No!Nien!No! No 'Anonymous', No more! Go and be a smart-ass somewhere else. A bit unfortunate if you turn out to be my real friends, but trying to be funny, or malas nak letak nama, or playing mysterio, or for whatever reason... sorry but tough luck! Start declaring yourself, okay. I'll be most grateful.

So thank you and Eid Mubarak.

The Awakening

I used to be clueless. Ignorant, perhaps. I was, if such a phrase exist, politically-naive. Dumb, when it comes to politic.

Unlike, or even perhaps, just like most of you, I was never aware, made aware, or be bothered to be aware of the political happenings in my country. In a way, it was not a bad thing, at that time.

I always reminded myself that it is not that I'm totally ignorant but I have a different understanding of politics. Government or opposition, I agreed with neither. I refused to take side; as for me none of the sides represent my understanding of true democracy and peoples' right. Thus, I chose to not to choose. I chose to be silent. Be ignorant. And so I did, for lots of years.

In spite of my refusal to choose sides, I believe in democracy. I believe that the French Revolution had trigger an awakening to the so-called ‘Human Rights’, the People’s Power. I strongly believe in the election system, the power given to the people to elect their leader, in which indicates that the power of the people in an institution is way above the power of a particular elected person, otherwise we might as well resolve to dictatorship. And for the whole system to work, I believe that the government should be transparent and honest. The people should be given a top priority in deciding matters regarding economy, social, education… and the people should always be provided with freedom of choice, speech and thought.

See, I always see myself as an artist. My interest and passion has always been in songs, poetry, music, art, theater and such. Hence, parting my thought away from the understanding of politics and not even meander close to the touch of the subjects. And art has become my niche, my place of comfort, my zone. The place where I can run to, if the subject ever appears. My niche became my excuse. Whenever the subject matters mentioned, I repelled. I claim that the artist wish not to be included in the matters relating politics.

Some times back, my artist’s hunger started to explore the creative world of short films and independent movies. That's when I was introduced to the movie 10 Tahun Sebelum Merdeka, thanks to my sis-in-law.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNZzZlVgWxY&feature=related.

At that time, I was working with a company where you can see cronyism (which Encarta World English Dictionary defines as; cro·ny·ism n; special treatment and preference given to friends or colleagues, especially the giving of political posts to people because of friendship rather than their ability, informal disapproving Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing) was being unnecessarily practiced. Authorizing and higher position was being given to unqualified personnel. Corruption and backstabbing started to occur as greed takes over. Chaos started to emerge, as we, the professional workers, were a minute away to see it turns ugly and it did. The project was mis-managed and loses ground month-by-month. It was just on the brink to failure when I left. Being in this company, it was like watching a small government killed itself by the hand of those who promised to uphold them. It was greed that leads to cronyism, corruption and betrayal. I then saw the resemblance in the current government and it made me to think.

Then, I got to watch V for Vendetta and again saw resemblance. It was a story of an overpowered, media controlling, manipulative and refraining government, against the freedom-hungry people. That was my true awakening. A character in a Guy Fawkes mask opened a door to ideas and realism for me.

I finally understood the true and metaphoric intention of movies, art etc.

I watched Cicakman and saw how manipulative media, controlled by the government who doesn’t want us to know the truth, was fooling the public.

I watched The Golden Compass and saw a girl's fight against a government that parted the people from the truth, as they were afraid that the truth might bury their power so deep in the ground, they’re useless.

I watched A Bugs Life and saw the power of standing up for rights against suppressive powers that can be achieved by unity.

I recollect the meaning of all the movies known, Braveheart, Postman and even Phir Bi Dil Hai Hindustani, just to name a few, and I saw rights, freedom and fight. I believe I just went through a bona fide political awakening.

Therefore, after all that, putting everything together, if I have to chose my leader based on my newly acquired believes, I want a leader who upholds the people first. All and all, rakyat comes first. That’s criteria number one.

Two; I believe in educated people and professionalism, and because of my belief towards the power of knowledge and I look up to academic figures and uphold knowledge, I trust professionals and professional bodies more than any wannabe talk-to-much bloke.

And three; Islam, above all other matters. Those who learns it, practices it, embraces it, glorifies it and upholds it, gets my vote, hands down.

My pick? Obvious, isn't it?

We'll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals when they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgement of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song

The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the foe, that's all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they'd all flown in the last war

I'll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky
For I know that the hypnotized never lie
Do ya?

There's nothing in the street
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are out-phased, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Is now parting on the right
And their beards have all grown longer overnight

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray:

WE DON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN

Dear friends and acquaintance,

Yours truly is going to need thy help. I have worked and have been saving this piece for over a year now, and I need thy comment and advise. This is a story I wrote purposely for children. As I remembered mine was filled with wonderful epic children story and tales such as Johny Appleseed, Maruschka and the 12 Months, Momotaro The Peach Boy and the likes, I would really love to have been able to tell tales and share them. My hopes are high in bringing inspiration and joy to children and adults alike through my stories. And I do hope my first sample here is worthy of publication.

Thus, I seek thy advise. Please leave comments, dear friends. I am open to any comments (if it's crappy, do say so) and suggestion. Although this piece, I admit, is rather straight-forward, I promise thee, my friend, that my next produce will be more oddly colourful, animated and eccentric than this. But for now, I present to thee.....

The Corn Boy
There was once in a village by the valley,
Far, far away from the country,
In a house on a cornfield that grew plentifully,
Lived a happy family of three.

A hardworking man, the father is,
Struggling through all the thick and tall,
With two bright sons, he was in bliss,
The youngest one was the brightest of all.
Taught them well, the father had,
To love the young, respect the old
'And value this cornfield’ said the dad,
‘Our wealth is of his,’ that’s what they’ve been told.

A proud father, the eldest had made him,
A diligent farmer and a successful corn vendor,
The youngest spent more on thinking,
That made the father worried and wonder

‘My son, what will become of you?’ he said,
‘Be more like your brother. He is very successful,’
But the boy replied ‘Forgive me please, dearest dad,
I don’t wish to be a rebel and break your rule.
I wish to be a better man of victory,
But a corn vendor I wish I would not be.’
Surprised, was the father, with anger and fury,
‘Be gone, away! You disappoint me!’

The words of the father had made him sad,
He gathered his belongings and his ambition too,
One day, you’ll be selling corn again,’ said dad.
‘So take this cart of corn, and the donkey with you,’

‘I’ll take the corn, but not to sell.
I’ll make something else of it,’ said the son.
Held close his brother, and bid him farewell,
Away on his journey which had just begun.

The boy arrived to a house near the lake,
Where the air was filled with great smell of bakery,
At the window, there’s a fat Baker with a cake,
Saying ‘Hey, Corn Boy! Come here, come to me!’
‘How much do you sell your corn, young lad?’
Said the Baker, ‘I wish to make corn bread, you see.’
‘It’s free, take and plant some corn in your yard.
But in return, for a month, please teach me bakery.’

Gladly, the Baker took the boy in his care,
For a month they planted corn and learnt bakery,
The boy learnt fast with no time to spare,
Packed some bread and corn, and continued his journey

The boy arrived to a house by the river,
In a garden of carrots, cabbages and green celery,
Out in the open, stood a tall skinny Farmer,
Saying ‘ Hey, Corn Boy! Come here, come to me,’ ‘
How much are your bread and corn, young lad?’
Said the Farmer, ‘A stew with bread and corn can be delectable.’
‘It’s free, take and plant some corn in your yard.
But in return, for a month, teach me how to cook vegetables.’

Gladly, the Farmer took the boy in his care,
For a month they planted corn and learnt cooking,
The boy learnt fast with no time to spare,
Packed some vegetables with the corn and kept on moving.

The boy arrived to a house on a hill,
Scattered with cocks, birds and all the poultry,
On the open porch, sat a cheerful Griller still,
Saying ‘ Hey, Corn Boy! Come here, come to me,’
‘How much are your corn and goods, young lad?’
Said the Griller, ‘I’m cooking a complete chicken dinner for the family’
‘It’s free, take and plant some corn in your yard.
But in return, for a month, teach me how to make dishes from poultry.’

Gladly, the Griller took the boy in his care,
For a month they planted corn and learnt the art of grill and roast,
The boy learnt fast with no time to spare,
With chicken, vegetables, bread and corn, he went away to the coast.

The boy arrived to a city at the coast,
Where boats and seamen just got back from the sea,
On the jetty, stood a Fisherman, so boast,
And the boy approached the man, who stood there arrogantly,
‘Sir, would you want to buy some bread,
Or corn, or vegetables or this healthy poultry?’
‘Boy, see that we’re very rich,’ the man said,
‘We already have those, a lot in this city,’

‘Unless if you have with you beef instead,
You can trade anything for a brisket or steak,’
The boy replied, ‘I shall take my corn and bread,
I’ll search for beef, and in a month, I’ll be back,’

So, the boy went on to the village not far,
Where the prairie is packed with sheep and cows,
There, sat a humble old Shepherd afar,
To whom the boy respectfully greets and bows,
‘Sir, would you want to buy some bread,
Or corn, or vegetables or this healthy poultry?’
‘Sorry, boy, we’re quite wealthy,’ the man said,
‘We already have those quite abundantly,’

‘Unless if you have fishes instead,’
‘You can trade anything for a sardine or snapper,’
The boy replied, ‘What if I can get you that?
But in return, for a month, teach me how to prepare beef dinner,’

Gladly, the Shepherd took the boy in his care,
For a month they the learnt to cook stew, steak, meatloaf and roast.
The boy learnt fast with no time to spare,
He took two cows and two sheep, and went again to the coast.

The boy returned to the coast and met the Fisherman,
Kept his promise, and granted the proud man’s wishes,
‘You’ve impressed me, boy, what do you want in return?’
‘For a month, teach me to cook seafood and prepare fishes’

Finally, the Fisherman took the boy in his care,
For a month they learnt to prepare seafood and fishes.
The boy learnt fast with no time to spare,
Then, went back to the Shepherd to keep his promises.

The ambitious boy, went on his way,
Becoming a corn vendor he still repelled
The boy arrived to a palace courtyard one day
Where a Royal Cooking Competition was being held

Around him were all the greatest chefs and cooks
Skillfully baking, and grilling and stewing,
Using all the ingredients and the lessons he took
The boy cooked a wonderful feast fit for the King
The time is up and the food was ready,
All to be served before the King, so skinny,
Some were too sweet and some were too salty,
Some were tasteless and some were too ordinary.

It was time for the King to taste the boy’s cooking,
Five dishes altogether, served in five servings,
The salad were fresh and the roast was appetizing,
The fish was delicious and the cake was mouth-watering,
The feast was so delicious; he kept eating more.
‘Who is this great cook who cooked this feast?’ the King said
‘I’ve never tasted anything like this before,’
‘It is I, my King, not a great cook but merely a lad,’

The skinny King was impressed; he laughed very loudly,
‘My boy, I’ve never seen a great talent quite like thee.
My people, the winner of this cooking competition is he!’
The crowd of people clapped and cheered happily.

‘From this day onwards, you shall work in my kitchen,
As a Master Cook you shall now be known,
To cook for me bread, vegetables, fishes and chicken,
Take a house in this city and make it your own.’

The ambitious little Corn Boy is now a famous Cook,
Lived in his own house in the big busy city,
Using the knowledge & experience he took,
He lived wealth by cooking feast for Royalties,

The father is now a very proud man,
Both of his son is successful and wealthy,
And every once in while, whenever he can,
The Corn Boy came back to his family,
In house on the cornfield, in the village by the valley.

FIN

Bikin Filim

As I forced myself through the pointless dreariness of yet another rubbish film produced by a Malaysian, I asked myself 'why??????'

Do you think audience are that stupid?

Do you really think we enjoy cheap stunts like suffering mother, dying drug addict brother, love-not-meant-to-be crap, intertwine with tacky Bollywood-like singing scene cliches ?

Please... If it's pointless and crappy, it's pointless and crappy.
And I am talking about the Malay film 'Qabil Khushry, Qabil Igham'. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

First of all, how did I ever get into watching this?
Well, in Malaysia, we are forcefully fed into watching these type of shows on almost every Hari Raya, every cuti and every weekend. Thanks to Astro Ria and RTM 1. When there's nothing interesting is on, we watch crappy shows like Sembilu, Maria Mariana, Cinta Fotokopi and the likes just for laugh and to past the times. We've grown accustomed to this nature. Thus, we seek them to fulfill our past habitual entertainment needs. Here, thanks to Youtube. We get to watch Ali Setan, Cuci, Gila-gila Remaja and many more, including the ever so pointless 'Qabil Khusry, Qabil Igham'. To top it up, the stupidity was not even humorous!

Is it the question of moral?
If it is, why was a good kid, brought up in a good family, being stupid enough to get himself involved with drugs?
If it is, why is the mother being punished for being a good mother?
If it is, what deadly sin that the family had committed to deserve such fate?

There's no moral or ethical issues in question.
Nothing but a bunch of cheap gimmicks and stunts bearing a controversially almost similar name to a successful Bollywood film. Stop making these kind of movies, please.

Words are flowing out...

.....like endless rain into a paper cup, said John and Paul back in the late 60's and it's from the song 'Across the Universe'.

Sharing the same title with this song is ofcourse the somewhat eccentric pointless and an obvious Beatles-zealous movie about two hearts finding their way through love in the late 60s.

As it may not appeal to just anybody, Beatles fan like myself could not help but adore this movie so much as I sing-along to almost all the familiar tunes sang all throughout the movie. 33 Beatles songs altogether. Started with Girl, Helter Skelter, All My Lovin' through I Wanna Hold Your Hand, With A Li'l Help From A Friend, I Am The Walrus, Strawberry Fields Forever, Hey Jude and all the way to All You Need is Love at the very end. The story line maybe a bit loose, but still a good sing-along session. The story was creatively woven with the song to create these movie, or rather the other way around? Heck, whatever.

Meet Jude, a young lad from Liverpool (ofcourse, where else our Beatle-obsessed-movie-hero could be from) making his way to the US (I'm not particularly sure for what reason).

Meet Lucy, a lost and broken hearted gal.

Long story short, really short; Jude met Lucy, fell in love, went through hell and out, end. Typical.

Notice the names? Jude, Lucy... they also have Sadie, Jojo and Prudence. I'm suprised they didn't have Loretta Martin, Michelle, Sergeant Pepper and Billy Shears!

Again, a very-very loose and simple storyline. The best west-end-like rendition of With A Little Help From My Friends ever. At some point the kaleidoscopic visual incorprated in the film really depicts the feel and soul of the Beatles' songs in the late 60s. Great sing-along session. It's not at all that bad. Hey, if a story starts with a line like 'Is there anybody going to listen to my story?' can't be that bad. I remembered Mr. Snicket did something alike, turns out to be a bomb.

This week is going to be a hell of a week, isn't it?

American Idol 6 Finals (Arch, I know you can sing and all, but you are just too boring. Cook's my pick!),

Man U v. Chelsea (not a football fan, but here, it's such a big thing, I can't help to be caught up with the 'excitement', can't blame me right?),

and the ever sooooooooo typically-Malaysian-of-me-to-say-this-but-here-goes Akademi Fantasia 6 (Wah, terlebih sudah!! Hey, what can I say?? This is the only Malaysian TV show I get to watch here, ok. Plus AF is sooo typical Malaysian, mana boleh miss beb!)

also, ofcourse, Dispute Resolution 2 CN4015 on Friday 2pm (better get back to my books then!!)

What are we to do with these people?

Alas, there comes a time when a man leaves his pleasant good side and come venture in the world of hatred and loath.

My time is now. This, I decided right about few minutes ago. (**Notice one of the alter-ego is now present. The dark-badtempered antagonist one)

Hence, I present to thee, my list of least favourite people to date;

1. The king nothing - other related names; 'raja boneka', King John, King Theoden (for a while)... Dead stubborn, unprofessional, constantly makes poor decision and bodoh sombong. If he's a project manager, live up to the name as far as succeeding to manage the project down the drain. Don't be too proud sitting on that chair, mate.

2. The dogs - other related names; 'lembu dicucuk hidung'. They are doing deeds for the authority, and blindly doing it. Unconditional obedience. Irrational at times. They will swallow, obey and submit. Even when they have to lie and look dirty doing it, as long as they deliver.

3. The convex mirror - other related names; Mirror On the wall, Khir Toyo... The people who gives you false hope. Misrepresentation. Excellent in getting people's hope up just to brush people away. Famous for promising and not delivering. Treat today, waste the other.

4. The sphincter mouth - other related names; KJ, potty mouth... Words come out with... use your imagination, what else comes out of a sphincter... let's leave it at that.

5. The tall-tales teller - other related names; 'penglipurlara', big fish... Entertaining at times until it becomes dull and annoying. They are always the hero, they are always better than others, they always win. Truth it may be, as lies are too. Fact as it is deceit. We will never know.

6. The chocolate-dipped-chilly - other related names; Milli Vanilli... The deceiver. Wants to appear acceptable and lovable, therefore, the disguise. With all the fake innocence, people still can see right through you, mate.

How wonderful would it be to have these as characters in a fictional adventure. In literature, perhaps? Mmmm... perhaps.

What are we to do with these people?
Turn them into fictional characters, and quill away.

Will You Ever Walk Alone?

Liverpool Fans, The Kopites says that 'You'll Never Walk Alone'

Liverpool grown, The Beatles said 'I looked at all the lonely people' (Eleanor Rigby)

One, assuring joy and accompaniance. One, stating devastation and boredom. O Liverpool, who should I listened to? Which song should I chose?

Liverpool. Mentioned to me I can automatically refer to two things. The Legendary Football Club, and the Legendary Rock N Roll Band. The football team supported by most of my friends and family members, and the rock n roll band that plays a great part as my musical inspiration.

I was in Liverpool and got to see both, well... not quite.

I went to Anfield, didn't get to go the stadium tour as the tour was fully booked for the whole day, but got to take pictures at the compound, bought souvenirs and left.

I went to Beatles Story Exhibition, but didn't get to go in as time was limited and the bus was about to leave, but got to take pictures at the entrance, bought a souvenir and left.

Liverpool trip was a devastation. I am frustrated. It was like a Hollow Chocolate Easter Egg. Just when you thought that the egg was this one solid fist size egg shaped chocolate delight, it turns out to be hollow, the chocolate was only on the surface and the middle was empty. How you wished that it was something like Cadbury Creme Egg, Chocolate Surface and creamy gooey sweet ooze inside, but it's not!

How I wish that we have chosen the Beatles Story Exhibition!

How big of a fan am I? Well, let's just say, huge. I heard the echoes of people calling Lucy In the Sky Diamonds in the most melodious sound when I was five. I knew Maggie Mae before I knew Maggi Mee. I was singing to comfort a hurt soul through Hey Jude. I was taught to Let It Be. Get Back introduced me to Sweet Loretta Martin and Jojo, while George's guitar gently weeps.

All and all, Liverpool trip was a failure.

If there's anything good I can say about the trip is that Anfield was fine (why would it not be, it is the home of the great Liverpool FC), the City was beautiful and the people were helpful and incredibly friendly (friendliest so far, I say. Birmingham being the least friendly).

I still think we missed a lot by not visiting the Beatles Story Exhibition. Darn!

Well, heck! With all the frustration in the air, I will sing along with the Beatles 'I looked at all the lonely people...' and next time, to really enjoy visiting the 'should-be' awesome Liverpool, I rather walk alone!

Glory Glory Man United

For those who know me personally, they will know that I am not a football fan. I have no favorite team, and I don't have my favorite player.

But who can resist the temptation of a great event of that The World Cup.

Who can refrain themselves at the sight of players like Owen, Messi, Henry... not that I have met one yet.

Lets not get the wrong idea, I don't hate football. There is no sin in acknowledging but the most popular sport in the world; the madness, the passion, the celebrations, the event, the commotions, the joy, the tears.
Yes, it's one of the greatest thing ever created by mankind.
Yes, it brings the world together.
It's not only a sport, it's love, it's commitment, it's a universal language (Goal means Goal, doesn't matter wherever you are, whether in China or Uganda, you know what I mean), it's the perfect representation of the world.

And I do acknowledge that.
I acknowledge that to the extent that if one day an alien tribe appears from somewhere in the universe, asking me what can you tell me about earth, I say football.

Thus, there I was in Old Trafford. The legendary, most celebrated Theatre Of Dreams. Homes of the Manchester United. My feeling: dead excited!!

If you ask me, how did it go? I say, three words Phen, OOOO, Menal! The stadium tour was awesome, the Changing Room, the Lounge, the Entrance to the Pitch, the Dug Out... Watching it from the telly, now seeing it, touching it, breathing it, LIVE, incredible experience.

Now, would it change my mind about football? Yes and No.. I told you, I don't hate football. I just don't follow it passionately like others do.
I always thought Giggs will become a legend, Gerard is an excellent player, Ronaldo is growing more than ever and Wallcott is someone to watchout for.
Will I watch football more? Perhaps. Well, I AM in England, the Capital of Football in the World, so they say.

Mr. Ah San on Freedom

Something to share;

A chat with Ah San, a humble hardware store tauke from Serian many months ago, he said that Malaysia is not a free country. So, much for the 'Merdeka' chant while we are not a free country.

The reason be; Malaysia is resourceful yet we import food. We claimed to be independent yet we can't feed our own people. We eat beras Siam, Australian or Indian Beef, New Zealand milk, Chinese vegetables, Japanese tuna and so many imported fruits.

As for living and luxury, our Proton and Perodua is expensive as hell. A pakcik who wishes to drive have to take up a seven years loan before the car can actually be theirs. By the end of the seven years terms, the car is already worn out and old that they have to take up another loan for a better car. Houses are expensive people rather live in setinggan area and land are to expensive for most of the people to afford. Leaving them no other choice but to live in a low-cost flat. The people being discriminate on their own ground.

Even our professionals are being discriminate. Three to five years of studies, you can't even get a job with a decent pay (decent as in living comfortably. RM 1,800 for fresh graduate hardly qualifies as decent with the demanding cost of living in Malaysia. Bayar sewa rumah dah habis 10% of the gaji, if your sharing. Much-much more if you're not) Huge company rather spent 20k per month to pay foreign professionals than to employ local 3 local professionals of the same level of expertise at a lower rate per month. This, I am not speaking out of the context, as I seen it myself. My previous employer rather employed a Filipino Engineer (who does nothing but play Solitaire during most of the office hours) than to promote local engineers who is better and more competent than the good-for-nothing Filipino asshole.

So, how independent are we? After 50 years, how independent are we?

A country like Malaysia, so resourceful, should have prioritized in feeding the people first before considering the 'glory of the nation'. The larger country, for instance, US or Japan are successful in feeding their people first before successful in other glory. Ah San believes that the our soil can provide good food for us. Meat, chicken, fruits, grains and vegetables apart from sources like minyak sawit, rubber etc. Seems like we have forgotten the fruits of the earth, the soil while we focused on building this and that, develop here and there and all other bullshits claimed to be 'generating investment for the country'.

A hardware store tauke like Ah San maybe just another Jack from the street, unlike the top guns who play direct role in the administration. But just like any other small, 'unimportant', ordinary people, a tauke like Ah San, sure has a great view on things; something worth considering. Shows to show that the government should listen more to the people rather than the tinkle in their pockets.

A friend, Sunder says that if we look at the logic, a KFC worker in Malaysia, work for 1 hour and gets RM2. While a KFC worker in UK work for the same amount of time gets at least £5.50. The cheapest KFC meal cost around RM5.80 in Malaysia and the same cost £3.50 in the UK. Looking at the logic, a KFC worker has to work 3hours in Malaysia to afford a meal while in UK, he has to only work for 45minuts or less to afford a meal. With even a daily meal being dead expensive, we wonder why the cost of living is so expensive.

That's how bad we can't afford to feed our people. Independence? Go figure!

Look no further; our own parameter. If we still ask for pocket money from our parent even after we have been working for some times, dare we call ourself independent?

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she's gone. 

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain
Where rocking horse people eat marshmellow pies,
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high.
Newspaper taxis appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
And you're gone. 

Picture yourself on a train in a station,
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties,
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstyle,
The girl with the kaleidoscope eyes.

Lucy In The Sky Diamonds